I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
