Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
