Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
