have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
