In the future we'll all be gay
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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