im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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