So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
