oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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