i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
