Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
