What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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