making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
