Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
