im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
stop calling my apartment porn island.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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