This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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