if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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