They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
