were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
