So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My breasts were aching with rage.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
