His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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