he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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