So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
