If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
