who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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