his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
