fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
