I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I will pee on everything he values.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
