i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
