She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The air taste purple.
Randomize
