thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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