um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
