I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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