She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We are two peas in an std pod
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
