I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
