I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
