So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
