Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I smell stomach acid.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
