True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
