I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
