She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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