What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
