Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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