If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
