hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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