how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
