Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hope mine doesn't look like that
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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