It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
