I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is Oprah even human
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
