why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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