his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
