They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
